I'm losing you

and its effortless....

Trying not to give a damn is a lot harder than i thought it would be.
I feel like I am losing/may have lost a really good friend
and I dont know what to do about it
This, for the record, is why i keep everyone at arms length

Lies and Bullshit

I am tired of it all
I hate when people lie to me
and lying by leaving out facts, or ignoring the question, or alluding to an answer that may or may not be correct
It's all bullshit
And i know i am guilty of this sometimes too
but i am def. going to work on stopping if it pisses other people off as much as it pisses me off
whats worse is when the things that are being lied about arent even a big deal..like you could just tell me?
I would rather be upset for all of 5 minutes than to be tangled in some kind of dumb game
If you dont want to say what up just say you dont want to say.
If you want to change plans, change plans
but dont lie.
Lying is dumb

and btw, i feel that people should accept i dont want to talk about it as a legitimate answer
just saying

So resolution #75846 for jennifer: stop lying..even partial lying....

and i think everyone else should do the same

someday i will find someone who wants me
and i will be happy



and maybe i will fall in love
not that i am in a hurry
it's just nice you know?
the thought

so good news is..i'm not paranoid like i have been fighting with myself about over the past 3 weeks or so...

the bad news is that, since I am not paranoid, the thing that i was worried about did actually happen.

I'm not sure whether i am happy that i am not thinking irrationally
or upset because i kind of feel like i've been hit in the stomach, and it's sometimes hard to breathe...

:/
maybe that's a little dramatic
i mean, i could say it's whatever
because really....it is

but it does hurt

ce la vie?

<3

HighSchool on Steroids

So being at tech, even during the summer is like being in high school all over again. I see ex friends, ex friends' ex boyrfriends/girlfriends. So many people i didnt really need to see whish is why i left Florence for school in the first place.
On the other hand, the class isnt too bad. It's just incredibly long. I cant sit still for a two and a half hour lecture. I have an attention span that is about ten minutes longer than that of an average six year old. After about 45 minutes i start getting twitchy...probably look like i am on some kind of drugs. I move in my seat, start itching and scratching my arms, playing with my hair, my legs start jumping...it's sooo bad
grr


Oh yeah well don't get so distressedDid I happen to mention that I'm impressedI take one one one 'cause you left meAnd two two two for my familyAnd 3 3 3 for my heartacheAnd 4 4 4 for my headachesAnd 5 5 5 for my lonelyAnd 6 6 6 for my sorrowAnd 7 7 7 for no tomorrowAnd 8 8 8 I forget what 8 was forAnd 9 9 9 for a lost godAnd 10 10 10 for everything everything everything everything

~*~*~*~*~~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

When you’re walking downtown
Do you wish I was there?
Do you wish it was me?
With the windows clear and the mannequins eyes
Do they all look like mine?
You know you couldI wish you would
Come pick me up
Take me out
Fuck me up
Steal my records
Screw all my friends behind my back
With a smile on your face
And then do it again
I wish you would

status on crack

started chemistry class yesterday. i did 8 hours of chemistry. wish i was exaggerating..i'm not.
so..after having a facebook page for so long, i have started thinking in facebook statuses. Sad..i know, but i also know i'm not the only one that does it. If i updated my status as much as i changed my mind i would drive everyone on my friends list insane. I could get a twitter. that's all they do, but then i feel like i would be giving in to needless peer pressure. And that would just encourage me to text..for absolutely no reason. I mean, who really cares what my status update says? Anway here's some status crack...

JennRose: wishes she could stay

JennRose: hates driving in the rain, but thinks lightning shows are fantastic

JennRose: dances on tables. and yeah..she's sober

JennRose: has a Taylor Swift song playing on a loop "you were wild and crazy, just so frustrating, intoxicating, complicated, got away by some mistake and now..." stupid Taylor

JennRose: thinks sequin miniskirts are not school appropriate...maybe not club appropriate...maybe Dargan Street appropriate. yeah...probably

JennRose: zoned out for an hour? Not good. Hope these notes go up online...

JennRose: needs train support

JennRose: adores smiley faces :)

JennRose: quiere voy a Mexico

JennRose: wishes she could compete......

JennRose: is looking foward to Zumba, Bootcamp, and Kickboxing. Fantastic...


And the real one is: JennRose realllly needs to do her chem homework :)

love affair

Found the key to my lockbox today while unpacking. Excitedly looked through journals from the past 8 years. Even from a young age i was both a romantic and a cynic. Such a romantic....and always had a love affair with poetry.

Some things never change