i hate money....i hate it more when i dont have any

i did not realize that
my book voucher money came from scholarship money
that i would have otherwise gotten as a refund check
and now that i am not getting a refund check
i am also NOT getting book money
and i have to purchase 900 dollars worth of books
(that of course would be by bookstore standards. I, myself, am trying to get a little creative)
And have to pay for VA too
I am BROKE
yep, in all caps
:) but for the most part i dont mind
learning to spend money wisely is a good trait

However, i do have a fifty dollar gift card
that my mom made me promise i would spend on something fun for myself
since that rarely happens anymore
AAAANNNNDDD I want to spend it on season four of NCIS
:/
should i spend it on something else?
i mean i havent seen much of that season
and it's not like fifty dollars would buy much clothes, or that i need them
I guess i could buy books,
but i would never have time to read them
and i could get them free at the library...

rawr
i want to spend it
but i cant help from thinking that it would be a waste
but then...i did promise my mom

Jesus Wasnt a Politician

i am so sick and tired of people trying to tell me how jesus would vote and what jesus would vote for. I can't believe that people actually think that if he were alive today he would be a republican...OR a democrat. seriously? The man spent his life speaking out against liars and thieves, and there are plenty of liars and theives on both sides. The only thing i clearly recall him mentioning specifically about politics is that we should give to Caesar what is caesars and to God what is God's. In other words, pay your taxes, and pay your tithes. And dont worry about money problems because that's not what this world is about. God will provide. It's in the book that you claim to trust in so much.

What did jesus say about being a good citizen...hmmm...care of your elderly, provide for the poor, love your neighbors, heal the sick, and protect and love your children.
I'm all up for doing that without getting politicians involved.

So please, don't tell me what policies jesus would vote for, and who he would put in office, because you know in your heart when it comes down to it, you arent really voting for who would do the most good, but rather, but who (you personally believe) will cause the least damage. And i can't see jesus getting behind any of that at all.

He wasnt a politician. He just...did good.

Health care bill past
it will supposedly go into effect in 4 years
but taxes hit sooner than that
i, for one, can't afford higher taxes
neither can my family

and that's all i have to say about that....

appeasing Sjaan

so i was told to update
which i would do more regularly IF i actually had proof someone read this
but seeing as how no one leaves comments i just kind of update when i feel the urge and since i have been sick the past few days i havent really had the desire...
I get sick every time i come back to florence.
I am allergic to SC and especially florence. But my body figures out how to work through it after a week or so

So what's happened since school got out

*I've watched a TON of christmas movies. i love them. not going to even pretend on that one. hallmark christmas movies are super cheesy and totally rock
*my mom put up a christmas tree. by HERSELF without me begging. haha see there is hope for everyone
*i worked in ms stacie's first grade for two days.
*We made placemats for a local nursing home. some of them are gorgeous. i was super excited :D
*Went to the Julia Christmas party. havent worked there in 3 years, still a big fan of quite a few of those people. Most people ditched early, but some of us stayed for hours. i mean how long can you really stay at a pancake house? i think 4 hours was pushing it
*i think that may be where i contracted the sickness. at least thats what taylor believes
*almost froze my fingers off working Movie on the Lawn. Polar Express outside in 35 degree weather? yuck. 3 hours serving hot chocolate..not too bad i guess
*back at the MACK pretty cool
*back at the theater...i miss the crazy hectic-ness. the busier it is, the more i like it
*I want to see Avatar (thought I'd throw that in there) actually SOOOO many movies i need to catch up on BUT
*I have no idea when my next day off is :/

Oh well. trying to save up money this is my goal: West Virginia, Mexico, Random Road Trip (i'll figure it out), Europe (Spain?!?), California!

Those are my travel plans for the next two years

AAAAANNNNNDDDD

Sjaan, this is my update just for you.
I love you lots and miss you like crazy
send good vibes my way
i'm going to need them as i fill my lungs with toxic popcorn air

and for everyone else, have a cup of peppermint hot chocolate and crawl back into bed
what else is christmas break good for?

why i love exam week

Today I:


Slept in





totally rocked my music exam...heck yes






Danced on bubble wrap..yeah we did :D


had a crazy dance party...oh you'll never know



Blew bubbles :)




and colored with sidewalk chalk

And now I am having movie night with my roomie and suitemate

It has been a fantastic day

So i am really mad at myself
because i am having this split personality thing
almost like there are two totally different people arguing in my head
and no, i'm not one of those people...thanks for your concern :/

You see, there is this person
and i think i give them more credit than i should
because i love hanging out with them
and they make me laugh
it's always lots of fun
and i care a lot about what they think
maybe too much...
because it seems like they rarely have anything good to say
and when they make offhand comments or insults it hurts
probably more than it should
and definitely more than it would if anyone else had said it
because i put way to much stock in what they think
Obviously

So part of me wants to forget it
and do what Hope told me to do
and say suck it up, get over it
because really i shouldn't care that much
and if they wanted to be good friends
or something more
than they would put some effort in
right??
then another part of me thinks that if i could just improve
or do better than maybe i could gain approval
and that's why i get mad at myself
I shouldnt let myself get so insecure
People that make you feel bad about yourself
are not worth your time

So easy to say
so hard to practice

stress

So i only have one more day of classes and two exams between me and christmas break. so i shouldnt be this stressed right? No...it's getting worse
Next semester i have to take 21 credit hours. that's not the problem. the problem is paying for them. i thought they were 300 dollars for the ones over 18. but turns out it is 600 dollars. That is 1800 dollars!! i have 1200 dollars in combined refund checks, that STILL leaves 600.

why does it cost that much? that is insane. no wonder so many students do not graduate on time. i cannot affor to be a semester behind. i also cannot tell my parents, who also cannot afford the 600 dollars. Oh and to top it all off, i have to pay for summer classes too

You know what that means? The money i am making over winter break that i was planning on saving for my senior trip to europe. not happening, the saving that is. Hopefully the trip still will.

Keeping my fingers crossed Morgan.

And i have to do my teaching fellows project proposal. like SOON. This week

Yuck