Deviation

So I am still in the game, I have managed to update every day this month. I am just skipping todays topic again. Because they are all starting to overlap and if you guys dont know of any place I would like to go/visit/live...then you dont know me anyway.

A had a few very bad days this week. Well, two very bad days. And it has led to some self-reflection.

What happened was that I was going through a rough time and got some bad news. I dont like sharing my problems with people really, but i like them to be around. They dont necesarily have to say anything I just like the support. And at the beginning of the week i was feeling super lonely.

One of my problems is that i expect people to act in a way i would act, I hold them to the same standard i hold myself, and not everyone thinks or reacts the same way, and this sometimes upsets me.

This works against me in two ways. One, I often have unrealistic expectations for people. If someone asks me to do something, unless what I am doing is drastically important, I will drop it in order to help them out. You need food, done. A ride, alright. Help with homework...ok. I usually dont mind helping people out because in my mind i believe they will return the favor. And they do, just not always when i would like them to. If I really want/need someone i get upset when they are unable/unwilling to help me. I might not make it sound like a big deal, but sometimes it feels like one. I feel like if i drop everything for you, i deserve the same. But not everyone has that mindset. And that is ok. So what if I dont have anyone to go on a food run, stay up late to study with or just hang out when i am feeling lonely. It's not the end of the world. People are busy. I know (or at least think i know) that when i REALLY need them, they will all be there for me.

On the flip side I often try to treat people the way i would like to be treated in a situation and get a little upset if they are unappreciative. I have to remember that not everyone appreciates the same things i do and not everyone shows appreciation in the same way.

It's kind of like that love language thing. It's been a few years since i heard this, but i think it's something like: touch, time, presents, words...and something else i dont remember...and i'm just going off on tangents now anyway.

The point is, even when i am feeling ignored I have to remember that i have some of the best friends i could ever ask for, and even when we dont see eye to eye on some things, that doesnt mean that they dont appreciate me, or that i dont appreciate them.