i was like...baby, baby, baby oh...

:)
so the topic today is kinda of lame and a repeat. What do you want your future to be like...i'll some up in one word. Happy.

Moving on...(because i know i have at least one loyal reader and she deserves more than a one word blog)..i will write about tomorrow's topic, which will put me a day ahead, but who know's i might get slack later. If not, i'll make up another topic for day 30.

First love and first kiss..ready, go:

Definitely not the same person. No where close. I fell in love for the first time when i was 15/16...not sure, depends on the month of the year. I could tell you if i had old journals handy, which i don't. He was 18. He sang, played the guitar, wrote his own music. His poetry was really good. He could make me laugh, had a great taste in movie...he wore a cowboy hat you guys..a black one. *sigh*

i started off being friends with his younger sister. We were the same age. i soon realized i had more in common with him though. We became friends. For a while best friends. We would stay up until ridiculous hours talking about history and literature and watching old movies. We played computer games and shared books and were complete nerds. That kid won my heart without putting forth any effort whatsoever. Yeah...i fell for my best friend. It happens. To me.

He would tell me about all the girls he liked and i kinda wanted to hit all of them. mostly him though. Because i knew they werent compatible. None of them. He started dating this one girl i couldnt stand. Beautiful, perky, super nice (fake?). I really wanted to find a reason not to like her. But i couldnt. It was unjustified. The relationship didnt last long. But long enough to equate to one of my lowest points. And many, many upsetting journal entries that still make me hurt for the girl i used to be.

A few months later he started dating my best friend. I was super happy for her, she deserved to be happy with someone awesome. Not a lie. But seeing them together still hurt. So i started spending less time with both of them. he moved far away to college. And i thought i had gotten him out of my mind, but every time he would return i would fall again. Heels over head couldnt help myself. And anyone who knew me could tell we were more than friends no matter what i said. In fact the guy who was my first kiss (more on that later) was super jealous of him.

So what happened to Mr Amazing? i dont know...he's married now. I havent talked to him in about two years. I hope she is amazing. And i hope they are both ridiculously happy. He deserves it.

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My first kiss...I was 18. It was the month before i started college. he was...quite a bit older than me. And to not bring up old drama, he was probably someone i shouldnt have gotten involved with. But it all kind of happened on accident. Yes, he turned out to be a major jerk. Yes, i hurt some people along the way. Would i do it again? ...i dont know. Maybe. He was kind of what i needed during that transition summer. My parents didnt trust me, my friends were irritated, the guy who really liked me and who probably would have treated me like a princess...i hurt him. I didnt mean to. Everyone has to have one of those right? Well, i did. And i cant change it now even if i wanted to.

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The second guy i kissed was in September. The month AFTER I started college. Jerkface number one...well turned out to be a jerkface. He ditched me, my friend caught him sleeping with someone else. Then he called me two weeks later to apologize and Hope yelled at him. So...havent talked to him since although i see him around sometimes.
Back to the second kid...total rebound. I was two months from my first kiss and realized i liked it...a lot. So...what's a girl to do? Three weeks in i realized that just making out on a somewhat regular basis wasnt the relationship i wanted...so i said goodbye and proceeded to remain single for oh...three more years. Cheers :)

Oh.. side note...the two and a half year sabbatical sin kisses...worth the wait. I think i picked two that didnt know what they were doing. sad times for them.
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So I think I've been in love twice, kissed a few more people than that..and well...hmmm...all in all it's been an interesting ride. Hope this story was a little more interesting than the assigned topic. If there are any holes in my story let me know, I'll fill you in. just didnt want this to turn into a book.