thank god

my air broke today
for those that know me
this is kind of a big deal
i like it on the cold side

I was complaining to myself
about the fact the air was broken
and i missed dinner
so i was hot and hungry
all around cranky

When it hit me
And i felt like such a spoiled brat
If you ask my friends
If i am spoiled
the answer would be no
Or at least i am pretty sure it would be

But here i am complaining about air
and missing one meal
When there are people out there
(and not even far away, right down the road)
Who are literally starving
who have no home
forget the air

Thank you God
for my school
my room
my bed
the fact that i know i will get a meal in the morning
shoot the fact that i could easily go get one now

Things i take for granted every moment
Thank God

Hollywood UMC

I want to go
next time i am in LA, i will visit this church
I am not sure why the pull is so strong
but i feel it is a place, a pilgrimage maybe?

I want to go.

Want to know something great?
I just discovered on their website
I can listen to their sermons.
I think that is amazing.

I have not found a church here.
I havent.
But i am looking
Maybe half heartedly...

HUMC is doing a series of sermons on movies
I love movies.
And they are choosing movies that most churches
would never, ever touch.

Saved?
Milk? ( love this movie)
Gran Torino? (excellent)
Rachel Getting Married?

And i can listen to the sermons
at home
until i get the opportunity
to return to LA and visit this church
Which is just something
I feel i should do

Fear

Are you scared of the dark
Are you afraid they’ll break your heart
Are you afraid you’ll lose yourself
Are you afraid of your own hell?

Are you scared to lose
Are you afraid to choose
Are you afraid you’ll win
Are you scared of your own sin?

Are you scared to forgive
Are you afraid to live
Are you afraid to die
Do you think it's all a lie?

To live
When you think you’re dying
To laugh
When you feel like crying
To stand
When you think you’re gonna fall
It’s just fear after all I

Are you afraid you’ll be alone
Are you scared to pick up the phone
Are you scared of the past
Do you think that you might crash?

Do you think you’re in too deep
Are you afraid to sleep
Are you scared there’s no stability
Are you afraid of your own fragility?

To mend
When you’re think you’re breaking
To strength
When you know you’re shaking
To pray
When your back’s against the wall
It’s only fear after all

Are you scared of the end
Are you scared to begin
Are you scared of the start
Do you think they’ll break your heart

It’s only fear
The only fear is fear itself
The only fear is fear itself

~Pauley P.

Free Store

So I only made it to the campus free store once last year.
But hopefully I will stopping by more frequently.

I think it is a great idea. Turn in items you no longer use, so they can find a home with someone who needs them.
Almost like a co-op. Coming together to share resources. That such a beautiful idea.

I found lots of childrens books and puzzles for my classroom :)

And because I hate paying full price for ANYTHING I was thrilled to find two skirts from new york and company, which i love. I love skirts.

I am pretty happy right now.

Scratch Beginnings

Fantastic Fantastic book.

Well i cannot say that for sure, seeing as i have not completely finished it, but what i have read so far is fantastic. Adam Shepard leaves his old, comfortable life behind, takes only 25 dollars and starts over with practically nothing in search of the "American Dream".

Intro:

"I am frustrated with the whining and the complaining. Frustrated with the lethargy and lack of drive that seems to be overcoming a younger generation inparticular.
I am really, really frustrated with the poor attitudes that seem to have swept over my peer group. Frustrated with hearing "I don't have" rather than "Let's see what i can do with what i do have."

This was written for me. I mean, i could have written this. How often do i say this very same thing? It was only last semester that i told my mom i was quitting life as i know it and becoming a nomad to travel around and live off of the money i made by freelancing photos and occasional odd jobs. I still fight back the impulse to leave and live a simpler life among simpler people.

But the author of this (hopefully) amazing book already knew i was thinking that. He anticipated my reaction would be similiar to his, so he prefaced his book

"The truth is that I wouldn't wish my experience on anyone. Go to school, find your passion, save your money, live your dreams."

that's what I am doing. That is what i am going to do.