i choose love

I Choose Love ©2009

The people I used to know
Wouldn’t understand
The change in me
Not the same person I used to be
I’m done with the rules that they set up
That one way is right
And the rest corrupt
I’m letting it go
And I want to know…
Is this really the face of evil that they all fear so much?

She smiles so bright
Not giving up the fight
Rainbow flag held high
Full of pride
Because for one day, one day,
She is genuinely happy. She holds hands with the one she loves
And twirls in circles as her rainbow colored skirt flairs around her,
Her sign is simple “Always love, Hate will get you every time”.
And for once,
For once she is able to forget.
Forget how it is
How hard it is
To be different
In a state where everyone is the same
Or else
You are an “us” or a “them”
There is no “we”
But even this much does not comes free
So she pays tribute
She pays tribute to the ones that paved the way
Holding up candles
Spreading the light
Hoping to make a difference
In the darkest of nights
And she’s just one of many
I watch them
And wonder how others can condemn
When it seems so easy
So easy, to love


And then I find myself, standing under a shower of glitter
Laughing like a child
Like the child in front of me,
Who is also covered in glitter, sparkling like a treasure,
Which he is
To the woman who holds him
And he stretches out his arm to another woman standing close
And he smiles
He smiles because he hasn’t yet been told
Told that his mothers are bad
That their love is a sin
Not because they are different
But because they are, in fact,
Too much the same
And that starts the blame
The shame
A lifetime of pain
And as I watch her brush curls out of his beautiful face
A voice cuts through the celebration and seems to be directed right at me.
Yet another protestor
This one an old man waving a Bible
“Heaven or hell," he asks
"Do you choose heaven or hell?!”
This is the test.
But looking around I am finally sure
“Love,” I said,
“I choose love.”

~Jennifer Rose

*Rough draft aka I need feedback*

Break

by PauleyP

I catch my reflection
In the bottom of my coffee cup.
Yup, I'm fucked.
Eyes of sugar and caffeine
staring back at me.
What do they mean?
What did you mean to be by now?
Only God knows how
you made it this far.
Through bars and cars
and what is the point
suicides and landslides
The endless why why whys
pins and needles continue to infect
the reject
to project and spread the never ending dread
a wallflower's longing for a dance of the dead
party hats and fancy gowns thrown on the ground
as a foot path laid to the bed that you made
wishing it was a cradle
you curl into a ball
pretend you are small and try hard to dream
of fairies and kings in a land of beauty and grace
to wake up to face
you're not small at all
but big and fumbling
along a long road of whys in a kitchen of spies
as you fill up your cup again

- pauleyp.


i love, love, love her style
I miss writing.
one day i will write again
cathartic exorcism
for her
and for me

innate compassion?

“Is it not common sense that it is unjust to treat people this way and that we as thinking human beings should instinctively know better?”

I feel like this comment is an example of individual perspective. You say that it should be “instinctive” and that it is common sense to treat people with respect, but at the same time, you only know better, because you were taught better. In many places around the world, for that matter many places around the US, there are “second class citizens”. People who do not have the same rights, because we, as a collective whole decided they do not deserve them because they are different. Apparently, it is not instinctive. Or, maybe the opposite is true. Maybe it is instinctive, maybe it is not something we are taught, but something we are condition out-of.

There is a famous experiment that was done by a third grade teacher in the 80’s called “A Class Divided” you can find it on Youtube if you would like. This teacher decided that she would teach her class about prejudice in a hands-on way. She told her students that they were going to help her with an experiment, then divided her (all-white) class into two groups: brown eyes and blue eyes. She told the brown eyed children that they would have to wear collars all day so they could be easily recognizable at a distance. She then proceeded to tell her students that it has been proven that blue eyed children are smarter and better behaved than brown-eyed children and because of this, they would receive extra privileges. Blue eyed children would get longer recess, they would be served more food at lunch and they would get longer to complete assignments. Brown eyed children would always have to stand in the back of the line, could no longer use the water fountain, and were not allowed to play with the children with blue eyes. At the end of the day the teacher said she watched in amazement as wonderful, sensitive and intelligent children turned in to monsters right in front of her eyes. They teased each other, insulting one another’s intelligence and manners. They would not share, they very made hurtful remarks. She said by the end of the day it was as if some of the students had forgotten it was, in fact, an experiment and honestly had begun to believe they were better.

I know I went off on a tangent, but I think that the point I was trying to make is that it does not really matter if compassion for others is innate or not, if that compassion is not nurtured.

Things I Hate

1) When people voice their opinions when they are ignorant of a subject matter.
~It is not always a horrible thing to be ignorant of a particular subject, but if you are, keep your mouth shut. Spewing nonsense that cannot be backed up just makes you look uneducated and infuriates those around you~

2) People who have the time and resources to help others, but don’t
~Self explanatory, stop being so selfish~

3) The fact that so many people milk the welfare system
~There are many people who genuinely need the help, people who cannot get back on their feet by themselves, but are trying to get by. This system was designed to offer TEMPORARY support to those who need help, it is not lifetime care. However, with the economy like it is now it is becoming even harder, near impossible for people to work their way back up~

4) The fact that certain people feel they have the right to take money from people who earned it honestly. *cough* insane tax increases *cough*
~Yes, it would be fantastic if everyone was willing to donate part of their money to charity, so they could help those who NEED the money, but it is THEIR money, they should be allowed to decide what to do with it~

5) Name brands/Designer clothes/bags/glasses etc.
~ The fact that people are willing to drop $100 dollars or more on one article of clothing or one accessory blows my mind. The reason behind all the money is to get someone’s name or emblem displayed…so essentially you are paying them to advertise for them. Is that not completely backward? Admittedly that while most designer items (especially purses) are atrocious, there are occasional attractive pieces WHICH you can find replicas of 80% cheaper. You know how much you could do with that 80%?

6) Littering
~it just means you are lazy. Do not do it~

7) Breeding dogs
~There are far too many dogs without good homes for me to, in good conscious, think that it is acceptable to keep forcing dogs to mate. Then you get these pure-bred dogs, which in reality, have no real superiority over any other dog and you are trying to sell them for hundreds of dollars. When said dogs do not sell they end up at the already over crowded humane society where they force other dogs out to be euthanized. Why not accept a dog that loves you, no matter what they breed. It does not make them any less of a dog, or any less amazing~

8) Reality Shows full of senseless drama

9) Secret Life of the American Teenager
~Fifteen year olds are too young to be having sex…I think that was the concept this show was going for. They miss their mark. It instead seems to be glorifying casual relationships and buying into the belief that teenagers have no self-control.

Next Weekend

My family is going to the beach
Girls night out
Mom, grandma
cousins and aunts
I am not going. Staying on campus
Because it is Pride weekend
And that gets my full attention
:)
Whitney is coming down
And we are going to watch Milk
And perhaps Rent
As we eat a ton of junkfood
And work on our
Rainbow colored posters

Girls night in?
Oh yes
And the party is on Saturday
in the park
Can't wait

scratch beginnings 2

So the book is an interesting read, but i am going to have to read it much more thoroughly. I read it through quickly, as a work of fiction, liking the concept and not really taking into account everything i should.

i am reading it again, much carefully and am prepared to pick it apart. This could get fun

making justice equitable

Another discussion in LA class. A little less intense than ones past...no one ended up in tears and the yelling did not have other professors begging us to shut our door, but the questions and discussion brought up was still thought provoking.

The main question was
Is Justice Relative?

Many people in the class said yes, they believe it is.
I do not

I can't believe that justice is relative and fluctuates depending on where you are and who you are. I am not able to wrap my mind around the fact that it is ok in Sudan for a woman to be beat as punishment for wearing pants. Or, in some countries it is still considered alright to stone a woman for getting pregnant out of wedlock.

i know these are customs and are deeply rooted in culture, but i cannot accept them as "just". justice in my mind is when the punishment fits the crime, and both of those cases are too extreme.

I am ingrained with the belief that "all men (and women) are created equal" and that means that in order for us to decide what is just we have to set aside all of our beliefs and prior knowledge or any one person or one situation.

We have to start with a blank slate, or as said in class, behind a veil of ignorance.

We have to forget whether a person is male or female, the color of their skin, the country they are from, and their socio-economic background. We have to disregard any education they may or may not have had, the jobs they hold, the place they live.

Because it is absolutely impossible to NOT take into account all of those factors, i believe it is impossible for true justice.

I do not think that justice is relative, but i may believe that justice is an impossibility. That is quite a sombering conclusion.

War Drobe

Can't claim it. Written by Pauley P.
i think it has been said: i am quite a fan


***
I can't find my brave face.
I know it was around here somewhere.
I'm searching, sifting through the masks of brokeness, tear stained and scared
which are beckoning me to don them and go face the world shattered.

I can't find my coat of armor.
I know it was around here somewhere.
I'm searching, sifting through a rack full of cloaks of many colors with hearts sewn on their sleeves worn threadbare
which are beckoning me to don them and go chilled numb into the world in tatters.

I can't find my well heeled shoes.
I know they were around here somewhere
I'm searching, sifting through a pile of ones I can not fill
and those that the journeyhas worn soulless which are beckoning me to don them to walk out on shaky ground, rattled.

And I can't find my hat to shield me from the downpour,
and I can't find my gloves that cease the wringing of my hands,
I can't find the muffs that cease the ringing in my ears.
I can't find the keys to the car to drive me far away from here.

I can't find the X on the map to know this path is exact,
can't even find the map at all, and there's no writing on the wall.

So I remain, naked, barefoot, lost, wondering what is the cost of what mattered.

~PauleyP

Do you believe that...

Every person has the right to live healthy, productive lives?

And, if you do, what are you willing to sacrifice to make sure that becomes a possibility.

**That was the topic for LA discussion today. Well, the opening topic. We, of course, took many tangents and side streets during our hour and half discussion. I know i will have a love/hate relationship with this class, but so far i am loving it.**

I am becoming less afraid of controversy. Actually, I am doing a good part in stirring it up. But also a good deal of listening.

The class today raised many good points.

What are you willing to give up for others to live a healthy productive life?

Your time, your money, your happiness? When does your right to be happy and productive become a priority over someone elses right to be..?

I made the point that you had to secure yourself before you can be responsible for taking care of someone else. Think airplanes here...secure your own emergency mask before helping someone else. That however does not mean you should live excessively while allowing others to fall behind.

Many, many thoughts to ponder and write about and think through before i post any more ramblings on here. just wanted to open that up.